Friday, May 18, 2007

The 3 State Solution

Canaanism rocks...
The time has come to announce what you've all been waiting for. The answer is now at our collective doorstop. Golgotha meets Gethsemane meets Goliath. Goliath was a Philistine, and the Philistines have spoken louder than words may speaketh. The proper time has arrived to detach proper Philistine from Canaanistan, since these two entities cannot continue to exist as part of the same imaginary, future, mythical nation. Palestine does not exist as it is intended to exist. Palestine is derived from ancient Philistine, but only Gaza is truly the descendent of Philistine. The West Bank has absolutely nothing to do with ancestral Philistine and should not be confused with it. The West Bank shall henceforth be called Canaanistan, to capture the sense of Biblical trauma with which the latter day Heebrews are afflicted.

There goes. I said it. Three states. Supposedly two peoples. One mandate.

Philistine, Israel, and Canaanistan.

Philistine is Hamastan, and Fatah needs to give up their fight for control over Philistine. Biblical Philistine stretched from Rafah to Ashdod and was home to the Philistines. Shaped like the Strip is still shaped, this stretch of land hosted a number of seafaring peoples who docked for the long term. These folks came from elsewhere in the eastern Mediterranean. The real Philistines predated the Arabs by 2000 or so years. The latter day Arabs have no reason to claim inheritance rights to the Philistine state. They have no connection with the Philistines, other than that of forcible intermarriage with many of the folks who had comprised the local polities many years prior.

Hamas and Fatah need to undertake a massive demographic exchange. All those sympathetic to the Philistine nation-state must depart from Canaanistan. They shall be welcome to Philistine-on-Gaza. Canaanistan will be ruled by the inheritors of the Fatah crown. I'm all in favor of reversion to historically great circumstances in which some sort of emblematically pure state existed, frozen in the heroics of eons past. Mesopotamia and Babylon cometh forth and rear thine heads once again. The United Republic of Babylonian Mespotamia would be able to eject the Yankees. No Federal Republic of Iraq puppet state will stand the test of time. Similarly, Canaanistan is back. The West Bank is but a fabrication, functional only in a world of arbitrary schemes...

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